Losing a Loved One to Homicide or Suicide Changes Your Life Forever
. . . worse, it feels like no one is in your corner as your horrific to-do list lengthens.
But with this empathetic and practical guide, you won’t be alone.
Meet Author Jan Canty, PhD
My life was divided in two on the prophetic evening of July 13, 1985.
That night in July a hail storm raged throughout Wayne County, Michigan. My quiet, predictable husband of 11 years failed to return.
Ten days later, I stood inside the old Wayne County Morgue in Detroit to identify him – or what had been found of him. Not only had he been murdered, but I learned he’d led a double life, given away all our money, been involved with at least one young sex worker and neglected his private practice and our bills.
I did not speak of it for 30 years. But in 2018 I took pen to paper and wrote a memoir, A Life Divided.
That was followed by hosting “Domino Effect of Murder,” a podcast where I connect with other so-called “homicide survivors”.
My healing had begun. I gained momentum. I started speaking at conferences for homicide detectives and others, contributed articles to coroner magazines and was a guest on numerous podcasts.
In 2023, What Now? Navigating the Aftermath of Homicide and Suicide (a reference book for survivors and their supporters) was published.
These books are my legacy. I want to leave footprints for others in the hope it helps lead them out of the misery and confusion that is the reality of violent loss.
If I made it. So can others!
Helping Others Move Forward
While no two murders or suicides are the same, I gradually understood there are common themes in the aftermath.
Support fades. Friendships shift. Bills pile up. Health declines. Sleep is evasive. Anger simmers. Judgement abounds. We often feel let down by the very people and systems we assumed would rush to our side.
My hope is for survivors to realize they aren’t alone. They aren’t crazy. It’s not their imagination! Society does not know how to comfort us. Fortunately, we know how to comfort one another.
I know too well the feeling of isolation, the struggle to find information, the wish to be understood, the fight to organize and prioritize tasks while searching for crumbs of hope.
I hope to throw a lifesaver to other homicide and suicide survivors and spare others from experiencing that abyss.
Speaking topics include dispelling myths about homicide, what friends and agencies can do to help in the aftermath of homicide and suicide, strategies to address the grief and understand how grief changes, and so much more.
What’s the backstory of murder after the police leave, the headlines read and news footage viewed? What's the personal fallout on first responders, witnesses, coworkers, family members and even the perpetrator years and decades later?
Honest, detailed, true accounts and comments by those who traveled the path are shared. In addition, some episodes spotlight information that is rarely known at the time it is needed. There are so many more victims than the ones taken to the morgue. Yet there is hope. Post Traumatic Growth does happen and no one has to go it alone.
A few Guest Speaking Events
Featured Speaker On:
Blog Articles & Helfpul Information
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“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.”